


You're a Chemical that Burns

by boltschick2612



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, Past Relationship(s), Tampa Bay Lightning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-21 11:31:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2466671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boltschick2612/pseuds/boltschick2612
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>And although we stick together, it seems that we are stranging one another. </i><br/> </p><p> <br/>Sometimes Ben has a hard time telling which parts of his life are the dreams, and which parts are the reality.</p><p>He has finally gotten everything he's ever wanted, and can only hope it isn't a dream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're a Chemical that Burns

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick something I whipped up in one night because Bish and Val have become my everything.
> 
> Title and first part of summary taken from 'Strangeness and Charm' by Florence + The Machine. 
> 
> Fiction is fiction.

There's some nights Ben wakes suddenly, and he's not entirely sure who he's going to find laying next to him, if anyone at all. It's like he's in some suspended state between sleeping and waking, the last fragments of a hazy dream making him forget exactly where he is, or when. It frightens him that he never seems to know for sure, until the second he turns his head, and his eyes adjust to the darkness to see the space besides him.

Some nights he looks over to the other side of the bed, fully expecting to see the outline of Jakob's frame through the darkness, and other nights, he expects to feel nothing but empty space when he runs his hand over the smooth sheets next to him.

In the light of day, he knows it's irrational to recognize his time in Ottawa, and with Jakob, as the past, but at the same time, not know where he currently was in the time line of his own life. It's almost like he can't figure out which parts of his life are the dreams, and which are the reality.

Maybe he had never occupied a locker in Ottawa, and he was still stuck in St.Louis. Or, maybe he had never left the Sens, and everything he had gained in Tampa had been a dream of the best and worst kind. The kind where you get everything you've ever wanted, only to have it vanish as soon as the sun rises. If he had to be honest, there has always been a small part of Ben that feared this was the case. 

Perhaps that's why it never ceases to amaze Ben when he reaches out, and brushes Val's arm, or feels the warmth of his hand. The one thing he knows he'll never truly get over, are the moments when he looks over to see Val's peaceful, sleeping face next to him. All the memories of past, the ones he thought he had been living in, are gone. He finally knows that he isn't with Jakob, and he isn't alone. And even better yet, he never will be again.

**Author's Note:**

> Please visit my [ Tumblr.](http://boltschick2612.tumblr.com/) I'll love you forever.


End file.
